While still awaiting a report of Grandpa's angling trip, I thought we could dig a bit deeper into Grandpa's history. Here are three cases, that come to my mind, when I was unusually embarrassed by my Grandpa. There must be many more, and some might be even worse, but these came across right now.
1. Picking up Grandpa from the police station, after he got caught stealing his friend's car.
Grandpa and his pal Eino got this brilliant idea, that they were going to steal their good friend Olli's old crappy Lada 1200, drive it to their mechanic friend so he can install air conditioning to it, and bring the car back before the next morning, which was Olli's birthday. Of course, the neighbors called the police when they saw the two men hustling with the car locks. The police came, put the men in jail for the night, and after a lot of confusion and mediation, they were just given a small fine and let go.
Grandpa called me from the station and told me to pick him up. I went down there, asked for him, and they said he was already released, and they had saw him walk into the bar over the street. I almost said, 'Really, that's not my real grandpa', but I know we look too alike.
I found him in the darkest corner of that bar. All he said was, 'I think it's better not to tell your dad.' We went home in quietude.
2. Finding my Grandpa passed out in a men's room of a restaurant.
This was the only time I've seen him really drunk. Although he probably drinks more beer than water, he usually manages to stay reasonably sober. That day he invited me to have dinner with him in a nice sea food restaurant. I went there, and found him already quite soused. Grandma had left town to visit some relatives, and Grandpa took everything out of the situation.
We ate good, and Grandpa drank good, too. After finishing our herrings, Grandpa went for a pee. I was reading a magazine, and didn't notice the time passing by. Then a waiter came to me, and asked, 'Is that your grandfather in the toilet?' I said yes, realizing he'd been gone for a good while. 'I think he has passed out', the waiter said. Oh my god, I thought, and got all red in the face.
There he was, sitting on a toilet seat, snoring. I woke him up, and lead him out of the men's room. Then I asked for his wallet, and paid our dinner.
Afterwards he was very sorry. He bought me a new watch to make it up.
3. A couple of attractive girls commenting on my Grandpa's ass.
This happened a few years ago, before I had met my wife. We were at a beach with my Mom, Dad and Grandpa on a sunny summer day. I had been eying this nice looking girl sitting there with a friend. But just as I was about to go over to change a few words, the girls headed for the dressing booths to leave. At the same moment, Grandpa decides to go to change his swim trunks on.
I was standing by the showers, when I saw Grandpa with the two girls coming from the booths chatting with each other. I thought, what the heck!?! Grandpa said hi to the girls and went swimming. But the girls saw me, and walked by. 'Nice ass your grandpa's got there!', the other girl said. They went away giggling.
I never asked Grandpa what had happened by the booths. To tell the truth, I don't even want to know.
-Petteri
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The ramblings of my wicked grandpa.
